Observation: Thoughts on Twin Staircases
The first double staircase (recently referred to as “signature staircases”) I remember seeing was in photos of Candy Spellings famous monument to excess, arrogantly named “The Manor”, located within sugar borrowing distance from Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion in LA’s Tony Holmby Hills neighbourhood. This set of shag carpeted lumber was shown off again and again during her narcissistic vanity project “Selling Spelling Manor (2011)” (which she both produced and stared in). The 2-episode, (and so very relatable) production followed the trials and tribulations of selling and packing up Spelling’s 56,500 square foot bachelorette pad, complete with bowling alley, screening room, unspeakably creepy “doll museum” and famous “gift wrapping rooms” (of which there were 3, I guess in case 2 were broken). This show was of course followed by her equally self gratifying production, “Beyond Spelling Manor (2013)” the sequel which follows the trials and tribulations (yes, she has a lot of these) of designing and moving into her much smaller (19,000 square foot), “Manor in the Sky” (and yes, that’s the official name of what is basically her large apartment!)* Naturally, the sequel needed to best the original to satisfy her many adoring fans, thus required a 3 episode arc to aptly cover the breadth of the material.
* Note to self, I really do need to start naming my real estate
Now of course, proving people with newly acquired disposable funds have absolutely no imagination, any new ostentatious McMansion worth its salt must have twin staircases (each one a basic knock off of Spelling’s original, and each equally redundant in my humble opinion). I mean, a quick Google Image search is almost embarrassing in demonstrating how truly unimaginative rich people are.
I mean WTF? Is one side reserved for going up and the other for coming back down, like the escalators at JC Penny’s? They both to go to the same place, right? Is there that much traffic heading to their bedroom levels that you need double the capacity to avoid unnecessary pileups? I mean, maybe I’m a prude, but my boudoir has never been so busy that I have had bottlenecks on the single but functional staircase which leads to my bedroom (TBH, I also do not have an elevator – don’t judge me!).
